possibly out of character.

I am feeling a little sentimental now.
This usually does happen to me around this time of year… my life never seems to run years from January to January, but instead the beginning of each New Year happens in late August and the end happens sometime around the beginning of June.
(Never mind the month of July that one is just for fun… one whole month of recovery and preparation.)
This happening is naturally because of the fact that I have lived the “School Year Life” since I was 5 years old. I remember being in 5th grade and signing yearbooks on the last day of school. We took photos of our crushes, and our favorite teachers. That is the first time I remember this sentimental feeling beginning in the dreaded season of summer. This feeling became a little intensified each year… with the end of 7th grade being especially emotional. It is comical to think back on now. But, damn. At the time, that day was so terrible. I don”™t really know what the point of being so emotional was, I knew that things would change briefly but not indefinitely.
Fast forward to the end of my freshman year at Cornell… after my room had been packed, good byes had been said, and my parents were already on the road home with the majority of my stuff. I sat in the parking lot sobbing. Did I know that I would see most of these people again? Of course I did. But the change was so overwhelming for me.
A few years later Derek left college. A year later, graduation, and we all left Cornell.
Always happening at the end of my year…
But as it turns out, those celebrations of “out with the old year and in with the new” have not ended terribly. I have not completely lost anything. The important has stood the time and for the less important, there are good stories.
Again, fast forward to the end of my year now… a few things seem a little more permanent. I am leaving my first teaching job. My grandpa is leaving us.
The first of which, leaving my first teaching job, might seem less important… but actually has turned out to have a pretty significant emotional impact. Turns out, I am in love with my students, and I would love to find a way to keep them with me in each school setting that I was in from here on out.
The second of which, my grandpa dying, is not second by importance. It is second by my ability to process the event at this point in time.
Again, happening at the end of my year…
It is interesting to think that both of these things are happening around the same time. My grandpa would understand my sentimental approach to leaving my kids. A long time ago my dad told me that my grandpa knew I would be a good teacher because I reminded him of his mom who was also a school teacher. I hadn’t ever thought about what my grandpa’s thoughts of me being a teacher were, but I do remember thinking that was such a good thing for me to know.
I suppose there is some odd comfort for me in the timing of things at the end of this year.
Or maybe that is just easier to say…

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