so the other nite derek and I are chatting about blogs and how he wishes that everyone had one so he knew what was going on
in other people’s lives.
I responded with the idea that even though I have a blog does not mean I share everything on the internet for others to know about my life.
this obviously got derek riled up, stating that I do not blog unless there is something that I feel like I need to rant about…
hmm… well.. yeah. that’s pretty much true.
but people have his site to find out what is going on in our lives instead. so my rants are just the P.S. section to the events he makes sure internet stalkers know we have attended.
so immediately I wanted to come back and find all the posts I have written that do not include rants… just to make a point to him.
(remember I am an educator… educating the people..)
however, when I thought more about that, I decided that wasn’t going to be a fun job (and more likely would probably just prove his point more anyway..).
so instead, I started thinking about things that I could blog about. events happening that I could share with the four people who stumble upon this site. and while that task was a little fun, I immediately started thinking about a specific detail of those events that I could “rant” about.
call it pessimistic.
I think of it as adding a little humor to an otherwise shitty situation. although the actual situation is not going to get better, it’s possible that someone might laugh at the predicament while I am recounting the events.
(OASN: this might also have something to do with the fact that I admittedly exaggerate most stories…)
so… that brings me to my rant about doctors. (while updating you with my ever exciting life..)
this story starts around thanksgiving time when I visited my doctor for a few reasons.
1. I have a lump in my neck.
2. I have a rash that surrounds the lump and makes me feel like a dog with fleas.
3. I have had a headache for about 2 weeks.
not anything super serious, just a few annoying aliments.
hmm.. she responds with this:
1. there is a lump in your neck. it probably is nothing because it moves around a little.
2. there is a rash that must have started with something slightly irritating my skin, and now I must just be in the habit of itching my neck.
3. to cure headaches, I should take 2 advil twice a day.
really? well when is the lump going to just move right out of my neck? a “habit” of itching my neck? and does someone really come to the doctor about a headache without first trying tylenol?
alright.. so fast forward this situation a few weeks, and past a few new doctors appointments and a CT scan (all much better, I should mention).
I am now sitting in the office of an ear, nose and throat specialist, regarding the lump in my neck. (who is now know as larry, because he has apparently become a permanent fixture protruding from my neck area). the ent doctor says this exact quote without saying anything else to me:
“well with kids we would say this is a swollen lymph node and with adults we would say it is cancer. ha! there and now I have gone and said the word cancer.”
hmm… yeah, you actually said it twice. is there something else we should talk about, you untactful fuck?
(now, don’t get me wrong. I often times lack what is known as tact, and I call that honesty. which I can respect from another person. and this combined with the fact that I do not have thin skin.. “sticks and stones” is a daily motto for me. my feelings don’t often get too involved.. )
but honestly, no introductions? do you want to tell me that you have been doing this work for years, and have no wife or mother who has ever taught you about talking to other human beings, and you have just devoted your life to your work instead, ignoring all other social obligations? no other thoughts otherwise? just gonna throw cancer right out there?
so fast forward again to today. I have a surgery planned for thursday to remove larry and send him off to find his origin. and in the mean time the kind folks at mercy west called to get the rest of my medical history details determined. the second question that the ever so thoughtful man asks me, “do you have a living will or are you prepared for the death options related to surgery?”
whoa! right after he politely clarified my full name. at least the introduction was out on the table.. but jim, I don’t even know your middle initial!
and a living will? what? jim! it took me a year and half to have my name put on the house… a living will? don’t push derek and I into that type of commitment! and death options? what? I need you to check your records.. I am not having a triple bypass surgery.. just a little grape popped out of the neck region. death is not really in the plans for thursday… i don’t even have lesson plans made for tomorrow, let alone next monday! slow down here jim!
so. fast forward to right now. another ranting blog.
with a little insight into the daily life as well, I suppose. so there it is. I am having a little procedure in a few days. and I suppose I am a little concerned, not necessarily about the actual surgery (despite jim’s sweet attempt at the scare tactic!) but maybe just a little concerned about where I might find larry is actually from.
and that is what is going on in my life right now.
but how boring and un-funny are those three pathetic sentences without a little ranting spice added in?

8 thoughts on “P.S.

  1. hmm, serious rants are a lot less funny than non-serious ones…i suppose i should say something typical here, like “don’t worry, everything will be ok” or something, but, we aren’t typical people…i’ll just say good luck on thursday, and if they let you keep larry, can i see him?

  2. Hey Miss Kari. I hope everything went okay with the surgery. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. Even if it is in rant form!

  3. I was so sad to hear all thats going on. Isn’t it so weird how we can know someone and something so serious can go on without even knowing? I actually worte just to tell you I had this same thing happen, in a much longer version. They thought mine was a cyst for quite a while. Anyhoo, sparing you the boring details – I had to endure the waiting for surgery, then tests, then more tests, then more surgery. It did end up being cancer, it’s weird how just hearing that word makes the sky look more blue. So I know what you’re going through, thats what my point is. If you need someone to vent to, here I am ­čÖé

  4. Oh, my word! That sounded so bad. I’m such a crappy writer. Sorry. Let alone the fact that I spelled wrote wrong. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I thought you have cancer, jeeze. I just wanted to let you know, no matter what, you’re the kind of person that can deal with this. Even if it’s nothing. I think I’ll just quit now. I can’t seem to think of anything to make this better. Too bad I can’t just take all this off and keep you in my thoughts. Sorry, again ­čÖü

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