I’m beat today. Exhausted both physically and mentally. I am so thankful to get in my bed and just snuggle with my puppy.
things have been pretty exciting here at home lately…
we got a new dog.
at first i was a little nervous to be excited about getting a new dog. kind of like it was cheating my love for ninja.
like saying i didn’t still miss ninja, or worse yet, saying he was replaceable.
and this is where i feel like having dogs is like being a parent.
i have all my parent friends tell me that you don’t actually love your first child more than your second child. it’s like you didn’t think your heart could actually fit more love in it, until you met your second child. and then you know your heart is capable of it. and you can’t ever imagine that you would have thought any differently.
that’s exactly how my life has been since march. my heart showing me what it is capable of.
back up to this winter… without a dog.
i was having a terrible time not having a pet around. it’s no secret how much i love dogs, and i am sure it wasn’t much of a secret how out of character i was without a dog.
i just kept thinking… well, as soon as we move to a different house. that’s when we will think about getting another dog.
plus, what i was really thinking was… there will never be another ninja.
fast forward to march. i spent a couple days with my parents in cedar rapids. my mom has a friend who is a foster mom for dogs. i thought some “dog therapy” would be good, so we headed to amy’s house for a couple of hours. amy has 4 dogs of her own, and was fostering a dog named joey.
i can’t really say that i fell completely in love with the dog right away. i thought he was a very sweet dog, and seemed incredibly lovable. but again, he wasn’t ninja.
amy told us that he was a stray dog in a town south of cedar rapids. the shelter there is known to be a high kill shelter and had him on death row. knowing this, the shelter in cedar rapids brought him to stay with amy while they tried to find a home. she also went on to tell us that he had an application put in on him already, and she was taking him to meet the potential family soon. knowing that he was wanted was reassuring to me. in a few different ways. one, i knew amy would make sure the family was a good fit, and he would have a good home. and two, it reassured me that maybe i still needed to wait a bit before getting a dog myself.
but, for some reason that nite i sent derek a message and told him that i had to put an application in on this dog. even though i was almost certain that things would work out with the other family. i felt like i needed to make sure the dog was taken care of… just in case.
well, things didn’t work out with the other family. and derek and i were back in cedar rapids the next weekend… and had time to spend with the dog needing a home.
(on a side note… adopting a dog is quite the process. i filled out a huge application. we had 3 references called, our vet called, our house inspected and a vet visit!)
things happened really quickly, and we were able to take this new dog home that weekend. it wasn’t what either of us had expected, and i wasn’t exactly sure how i felt about it. except that it felt right.
first thing was first, his name had to be changed. weird or not, i had a really hard time professing my affection to a dog with the same name as my old boyfriend. it just felt odd. so our new family member became known as garth.
i think he was feeling as rushed and confused as i was the first couple of days. he was very nervous about things, and i was still looking for a routine. garth was trying to decide if he was safe, and i was trying to decide if it was safe to say i was happy with a new dog.
it’s interesting because i think we were both on the same path. he obviously had come from a home (as he was neutered when the shelter found him), so he had obviously known some kind of love and security. and i was still grieving a dog that had given me lots of love and security.
both of us were unsure. and even though it was weird, it felt right to be unsure together.
it has been about a month now with garth brooks and i getting to know each other. and i have loved every moment of it. and while there will never be another ninja, that’s okay. i don’t want there to be. but there is now a garth who wasn’t asking to be a new ninja. and consequently who i am madly falling for and including in my love.
it’s like we both changed our expectations about previous lifestyles and hold no grudges about past loves. we both have a place in our hearts for each other. there is no room to feel like we are cheating or replacing… because neither of us are. our lives have just expanded enough to add a new love.
and it’s exciting.