Heads or Tails?

Good news or bad news?

I usually pick bad news first. Get it over with. Get it all out in the open. And really, then everything just goes up from there! And besides, bad news, like really bad news, is intense. Like a tornado, or cancer.. Or Lincoln Cafe closing, and usually those terrible options aren’t part of heads or tails games.

So let’s play good news or not great news? And let’s start with not great news. Because that’s what I do, and this girl is nothing if not routine.

So. Not great news. I’m in the middle of another exacerbation (flare up).. Or maybe just still the same one (that’s for a whole post about the competency of the health care world, whoa!) But, regardless if it’s new or old, it’s here and slowing me down just a bit. And even more annoying than that? I knew it was happening starting about 4 weeks ago, but the earliest my super compassionate neurologist team (they like to be called a team so that no one is soley responsible for being a dick) could get me in for an MRI to confirm the lesion was Tuesday nite. So, it’s back on steroids I go! (Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

So there it is. The not great news. Totally annoying. But totally not “bad news.”

And even better, is the actual good news. And there’s tons of it! Literally 30 minutes before I got the phone call confirming the new flare up, I was running on a treadmill! This time sans safety harness! And after the treadmill I was fast-footing it through a rope ladder in just 7 seconds! In fact, my physical therapist ended the session by telling me that starting in January I will only need to come once a week.

Other good news? I mean, I hate to brag.. But here goes: I passed all my short term strength goals for my OT work. So I only have to meet with my occupational therapist one time a week to continue fine motor perfection! Great news!

I am back to work! Full time! And I’m pretty sure it’s the best thing that’s happened to me. Whoa. Sometimes I just realize that I love my job so much and being away from it was hard. Those hooligans (and the 5 subs that cycled through) are so happy to have me back, and the feeling is beyond mutual.

I am cleared to go back to the gym! Super great news! The gym is a little like church for me. I’m obviously not super into body building (or strict dieting, clearly!) but, working out is one of my best stress relievers and I am ecstatic to get that back into my routine. Slowly, of course! Don’t be worried! (Although, this will be my first steroid gym experience! Look out for the Hulk!)

And lastly, even though it’s super hard for me to say, or more so actually believe, the exacerbation was not caused by anything in my control. You see, this is super huge good news for me. I am a complete control freak (like I need to mention that AGAIN!) and have tried to determine every possible thing that I might have done to cause this.. But the truth of the matter is, I didn’t do anything to cause it! I know you all have been worried about the shrimp, the gluten, the diet soda, working full time, working out, the bloody Marys.. All of it. But those things didn’t cause it either. (Thank you for your concern though, I am by no means trying to seem ungrateful for your thoughts!) But, really this is some of the best news for me! It sucks that the realization comes with some not great news, it is for sure something I needed to come to terms with on my own.

I have a disease in my brain that is out of my control. Granted, there are things I can do to make my disease more manageable, which I am doing at full recommendation of all my doctors. (Have I also mentioned how much of a damn rule follower I am? It’s slightly embarrassing!)

And beyond that, I just get to keep living without restrictions. Keep working, keep going out, keep traveling, keep spending time with my favorite people. Just keep going on, stopping for a steroid dose or two along the way, but still going. And it feels really good right now.

So heads or tails??

Winner buys the next round of bloody Marys.

4 thoughts on “Heads or Tails?

  1. Hey Kari. Absolutely LOVE your writing, you crack me up!!! So glad to hear how well you’re doing. I need to get out there for a visit or you guys need to get back here to the Shore for a visit! We’ll hit NYC again! Love and miss you!!!

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