Day 7

Ehh… today’s question is kind of loaded: Do you owe an apology to anyone?
Well, yeah. Of course I do.
In fact, I imagine about 80% of the things that I say/do require some sort of apology afterward. But, for the sake of the blog, let’s just take it back to one apology.
In second grade, at Starry Elementary, the rainbow bars were about the coolest thing at recess. One generally had wait quite a while to get a turn on the rainbow bars, as only three kids were allowed to be up there at a time.
I was pretty serious about doing a flip off the rainbow bars, pretending to be an Olympic gymnast. And I finally had a turn and was up on the top with Sarah Meek. The only issue with this flip was that it worked best if I was in the middle of the rainbow bars, where Sarah Meek was deciding how she was going to get down.
She was scared, and I was trying as hard as I could to help her make a decision. Albeit, I only wanted her to decide so that I could have my turn in the middle… but, still patiently helping her weigh out her options.
You can jump down.
You can do a flip.
Or if you are really scared, you can just climb back down.
Really? Just make a decision.
Before Sarah could decide, the recess teacher blew the whistle, letting us know that it was time to line up.
And before I could help myself, I nudged Sarah, to help speed up her decision making process.
She fell.
Right off the rainbow bars.
Right on her nose.
I remember seeing her look up with her dirty, bloody face and I was horrified at what happened. And since I am completely coming clean, and being totally honest in this post, I have to admit I was a little pissed that after all that I still didn’t even get to do my famous flip, because now everyone had to climb down the sides instead.
I walked with Sarah to the nurse’s office, and felt horrible the whole way.
Why am I so impatient?
But, why did she have to be so scared?
Going back and forth the whole way…
When we got to the office, I was sure Sarah was going to tell on me. Just say it, tell them I pushed you… that way I can really be in trouble and my guilt will be lessened.
But she didn’t tell.
And when her mom came to school the next day, I was sure that she was coming to get me. Coming to take me into the hallway and tell me what a terrible little girl I was. Coming to tell me that my mom and dad should be so disappointed in what I did. Coming to teach me patience, and how to take turns.
But she didn’t talk to me at all, she told the class that Sarah broke her nose falling off the rainbow bars, and she needed to pick up her school work, as Sarah wouldn’t be at school for a couple of days.
Dagger in my heart.
I broke someone’s nose.
And… she never told anyone that it was me.
Double dagger.
So, now 20 years later, I still owe Sarah an apology about that afternoon on the rainbow bars. I am very sorry for the nudge. You are a better person than I would have ever been in that situation.

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